"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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