She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
did you just send me my own nude
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
