I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
