And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
