Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have aggressive nipples.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize