I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
