I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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