Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
