I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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