Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
