His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
All the doctor said was why
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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