His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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