So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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