Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
