I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
