we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am naked and annoyed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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