belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
