We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize