So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
