Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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