At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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