New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize