My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize