He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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