If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
