i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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