I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
