p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
