i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
