I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
