so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
