i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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