Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
