who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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