high people should be assigned attendants
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
