i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
high people should be assigned attendants
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
