You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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