i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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