Yo dont text me then not text me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
