dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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