Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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