I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Say something about gay babies.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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