This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
