She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
