why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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