he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm always down for nudity.
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