cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
