ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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