I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
