I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
