I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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