i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
