Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
