I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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