do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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