i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My feet surprised me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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