forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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