When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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