just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
