I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
