census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
